Conversations With A Club-Owner
By Owen Lindsay.
10 year-old Jimmy* arrived in Australia not speaking any English, and made the vow at 14 to get a million dollars. By 29 he’d succeeded, and then did it again and again. Without any experience running a club, Jimmy and his friends opened one up – and it quickly became the hottest nightspot in Melbourne.
Bill versus the register
Bill was a regular at the club. Everyone at the bar knew Bill, he was in all the time. It was a 24-hour club, so our doors never shut. So one day Bill comes in, and he’s acting all crazy and fucked up. He’s throwing his fists around, making a real mess. But I don’t send in security, I just go up to talk to him. “What the fuck’s with you tonight, Bill?” I ask, but he doesn’t talk, he just slams his fist into the cash register behind the bar. And it fuckin’ disintegrates! So we manage to calm him down and send him home. The next day Bill comes back and he’s all sorry – says he was on speed the night before. He asks me how much the register cost, and starts pulling hundreds from his pocket. So it was alright.
Getting a hit
There’s no keeping drugs out of clubs. They’re a fact of life. One time I was in my club’s bathroom taking a piss, and some guy walks up next to me and starts saying, “Hey mate, want a hit?” I say: “What?” He repeats, “Want a hit??” I laugh and explain who I am. But instead of getting one of the security to chuck him out on his arse, I just tell him not to sell in my club any more and get him a free drink. You be fair with people, they respect you. Also, what we did was set up a door where people who wanted to have a bit of a smoke of marijuana could slip out and take a puff. That way they weren’t in the club, they weren’t in plain view. Because there’s no keeping drugs out of clubs.
Head-bangers are trouble
One night I got talked into hosting a head-banger night. You know the type: hair down to their shoulders, all dressed in black . So we get 1,000 of these head-bangers in – it’s not something I’d usually do but I think 1,000 people, that’s a lot of money. But the thing is, no one’s buying anything from the bar. Everyone keeps coming up and asking for a glass of water – no one’s spending any cash. So I tell half the bar staff to go home, and start charging 5 bucks for a glass of water. So the head-bangers start going to the bathroom for drinks! They’ve all got these lollipops that they’re sucking all night. I have no idea why. So I ask one of the bar staff: “What the fuck’s with everyone sucking lollipops?” And she says: “What, Jimmy, you don’t know? They’re drugs!” I never had those head-bangers back, let me tell you.
Gay night
In the past, I didn’t know – I was prejudiced. But those gay nights that we used to host were just about the most fun times in the club. Someone suggested that we host a gay event, and I said to them: “What, are you kidding? I’m not doing that!” I was prejudiced. But they convinced me, and we did the gay night. And I have a great time – everyone’s dancing, everyone’s drinking tons of alcohol, the club’s packed. So I saw that there was no reason to be prejudiced: gay people are just like anyone else.
That’s not all
So you can see how I came to Australia – I couldn’t speak the language, but I had a goal, I had something to shoot for. And I did it. I earbash my kids all the time about having a dream – and you can do it too. And that’s not all of my stories: I’ve only told you this much.
*Names and locations changed.
