Dubious Moments in Australian History: Dodgiest 5 Prime Ministers
5. Billy Hughes
(27 October 1915 - 9 February 1923)
Representing a total of four electorates in two different states, and changing political parties five times, Billy Hughes showed all the loyalty and faithfulness of Hugh Heffner. Described by Woodrow Wilson as a ‘pestiferous varmint’, Hughes almost single-handedly derailed the Versailles Peace Conference with his outrageous demand that Australia be awarded Papua New Guinea, and that the Japanese not be extended racial equality, with the latter move putting Japan on a path that would eventually lead to war with Australia. Nice one jerk.
4. Edmund Barton
(1 January 1901 – 24 September 1903)
Remembered proudly as the father of federation, Edmund Barton once famously declared that “For the first time, we have a nation for a continent, and a continent for a nation”. Perhaps less famously, he also suggested that “The doctrine of the equality of man was never intended to apply to the equality of the Englishman and the Chinaman”. This line of thinking resulted in Barton establishing the White Australia Policy. We spent 100 years trying to forget the biggotry of Barton, only to have the Federal Govt. remind us again with a cheesy advertising campaign. Cheers for that.
3. Frank Forde
(6 July 1945 – 13 July 1945)
Yes, you read correctly, this stain on the pages of Australian history was in office for one week. In fact, had white-out been invented just a few years earlier, his seven day reign would have probably been erased. When Curtain passed away towards the close of the 2nd World War, for reasons known only to him, the Govenor General swore in Forde as P.M, rather than Curtain’s right hand man Ben Chifley. During his reign of terror, Forde attempted to surrender Darwin to the Italians (a plan as nonsensical as it was cowardly), give Kangaroos the vote, and declared leaves to be legal tender.
2. James Scullin
(22 October 1929 – 6 January 1932)
Two days after being sworn in, the Great Depression occurred. Coincidence? James Scullin would certainly like for you to believe so. When faced with the immense task of stabilizing the economy and restoring order, Scullin did what any great leader would: he fled the country for half a year, to play croquet with King George. For years to come, whenever a member of the public ran away from his/her responsibilities, they would be described as having ‘pulled a Scullin’.
1. Harold Holt
(26 January – 19 December 1967)
The smartest move Harold Holt ever made as Prime Minister was drowning himself at sea. Soon after tripling Australia’s involvement in Vietnam (having just been elected on a platform of withdrawal), Holt arrogantly decided to go for a swim during a storm and never returned. After an indifferent 20 minute search, the nation moved on. With no body ever discovered, the public probably would have raised a number of conspiracy theories, had Holt not been so thoroughly forgettable.
